I haven't talked to him in many hours and it's driving me insane. I looked, and searched, and waited for so long to find someone just like him. Then right when I gave up hope of ever getting them, he pops into my life and never popped back out. I hope he never does.
I'm not even really sure what it is about him that makes me so crazy. He's kind and caring and patient and accepting. He loves me because I'm not perfect, what else could I ever ask for?
He doesn't smoke habitually, but I don't see that as an issue. He does drink though, which is obvious if you even so much as glanced at the above pictures.
Trevor is everything I want. He's everything I've been trying (and failing) to find.
I thought Yancey was perfect, but I see now that there is so much more than a relationship based on drug abuse and sex. Trevor sees past my disguise and really knows me. He listens to everything I have to say no matter how boring or how immature. He's always there to give me advice and always there to cheer me up. I feel as if I've known him for years, instead of just four months. In just six short months I'll be with him every day and I think my life may be perfect. We sat on webcam for hours together playing video games just for each other's "company". I want to share everything about myself with him. Almost as much as I want to know everything there is to know about him. I know I'll never truly understand him, but I'll damn sure try. He makes me feel... not normal, that's not the right word, but like it doesn't matter than I'm so fucked in the head I could snap at any moment. He makes me want to better myself, just so I might deserve him one day. I want him to be proud of me.
I want to get a job, and get back in school, and MAKE something of my life. All so I can feel like he's getting even a smidgen of what I get from him. All so he won't be embarrassed of me.
I don't think he'll ever really understand what he means to me. Or how much I want him to need me. I don't want to be replaceable for him. I don't want to be expendable.
So, in conclusion, this is my Trevor. Don't ever fucking touch him. Actually, don't even look at him. I claim him, and he is, hereafter, all mine. I will fucking slaughter you.
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