Yancey Letter 4

Krystal,
IDK WTF the police are doing aside from ruining Everything I ever worked for, I dont have anything & the cops just are being that way I think, as far as me getting out, not for a while babe, atleast a year before I go to prison, & Idk how much time I'll get there! :( Or maybe by the grace of god I wont go to prison, I hope that happens. Im going to write you a poem, & send it to you, when do you think you would ever be able to come see me? Visitations here are tuesday Friday & Sunday. Starting at 6:30 (I believe) for the first visit, but you would need to make sure you get here by like 5:00 cos it fills up lol, I really dont think I have aids or anything cos I have way to good of a immune system, to even make me think I have anything doll. Cherokee county fucking suxxxxx its so boring, lol, all we do is the same shit everyday, I have however gotten 5 new tattoos since I been here, two on my chest (Im working on my chest piece) their music notes, Im gonna get a music spread sheet or something like that lol going across my chest and down my right arm. I hope every thing is going good for you out there, yes you definitely will need more stamps :) lol, you are the only girl out there that even considered writing me. I hope you continue, I got so happy just now, XD when I got your letter 2day. It made me feel loved, :) I wish we could cuddle again xD I wish (I can honestly say this) that we never broke up, cos honestly since we broke up, my life went no where, nobody realized that but me, & It took me this long of thinking everyday to realize when my life started going to shit, & It all happened when we broke up! we never should have broken up, its too late to go back & change that now, they are dragging me down to the ground (the police) Im looking at 125 years in a maximum security state prison :( I hope they drop Alot of my charges & something else good comes out of this, instead of that :( It scares me to death, knowing that my life could be gone forever... with nothing good looking for me in the future, its hard to Stay positive, I saw a bayside music video the other day in here, I went right back o my cell laid down on my cot (after shutting the door) & cried my eyes out like a little baby, its funny how on the street I didnt give a fuck, and, would do whatever, but when something like this that is going to change my life forever, comes along like a tsunami and crashes into the world that is my life if turns me into a big baby. I am not gonna lie to you Krys, I have no reason to, not now atleast, I wouldn't grow/gain anything from it, but I do love you, I pray everynight that I can have you back, though in the back of my head I know that wont happen & than I remember how my life is ruined, and, I dont want to drag you down, not because I want to be happy again. You dont want me anymore, & I think that that would be selfish of me :( I DO LOVE YOU, you just maybe dont want me to, I think that maybe, god had you randomly write me, so that we could be together again, but Idk I could have judged the situation wrong or something, you should write me 2 or 3 page letters XD, I do, lol, but thats cos I dont have anything better to do. my sister & brother in law actually moved right down the road from my old apartment, the one you would always come over to, but I got evicted, so they live in georgia now, in a house, with a nephew I'll be lucky t ever see again until he is 18 :(. What are you doing now adays? hopefully you stopped using coke... I really need a cigarette lol, BUT some dumb 14 yr/o bitch got me fucked up! I wanna go back to when we first met lol, those were good times, I wish you could come see me some day, even though, I would probly start crying, I cant believe I let my life go down the road it is going, when & If I get out Im going to change I'll just drink & smoke cigs & thats it, of course If I get out in the next 3 years I'll have like 12/15/10 years of probation to do :( but after my probation I should be back to the old (not really old me, but smokin me lol) me. Of course I'll be thirty something :( but I hope that they realize something and something not bad? happy or not so bad happens to me Idk, either way, they Are tryin to ruin my life & doing a damn good job at it... I want you back, Idc if Im locked up I can make it work, atleast you will know Im not cheating on you,... but I guess thats not enough for you to take me back is it? :( Will you take me back? Meaning be my girlfriend again? I wish I could ask in person, but, we both know why thats a bit difficult right now, I wish I could go home curl up into a ball & cry. I would cry for days though, but when I get done crying I would smoke so many cigarettes & so much weed I would forget why I even was crying, I wish you could understand the pain Im going through right now but you cant, & you probly never will, but If you do understand what I feel inside, than please krystal, if you care about me at all, please I beg you help me through this (emotionally of course cos you dont have a extra 100,000$ laying around for me a lawyer) lol, Please though, help me, I love you & If you understand the pain I feel than you will help me out, emotionally, however if you ever wanna put money on my books (store) than I wouldn't complain but my parents put money on my books once a week, so Im not really trippin on that matter, you know what I mean. I dont really know what else to say, but I love you, I hope you take me back, please let me know in the next letter weather or not you will, I love You
Yancey T