Sarah and Kaiti are MIA.

Therefore, I'm writing a blog. I think the only reason I even write in this thing most of the time is because I want him to read it. I want him to know what's going through my head and how I've been dealing with the fact that he acted like a complete d-bag. I still don't understand how everything went so wrong so quickly. One day he's sending me text messages in the middle of the night telling me he loves me and calling before bed. The next he's telling me he has a girlfriend and that we're always going to be just friends. I. Do not. Understand. I actually wrote something the other day, things I'd want him to know if I happened to die tomorrow. Sarah, if I DO die anytime soon, please get him to read this: James, I love you more than any boy I've ever known. Every morning I wake up wondering if I'll be able to talk to you that day, and every night I go to sleep hoping you'll be the one to wake me up. Sometimes I think I've just imagined everything about you-- because it seems impossible for anyone to be as perfect and you are. I only want you to be happy in life, and I hope that I made you happy for even a little bit of time. I love you, and even now that I can never speak to you again, I'll watch over you and make sure you're safe. I'll be there when you need me, even if you can't see me. Take care of yourself. I love you.
Sarah, I wrote one for you too, but you can probably already guess what's in it. In fact, if I DO die soon, tell him to read my entire blog. It's all about him anyway. You already know his AIM, so just message him the URL there.
I've been thinking about dying a lot lately, it seems like only a few day ago that I was making promises with Erin to kill ourselves the last week of school on our senior year. I can still remember why we were each agreeing to it. I just want to be remembered for something, and dying in the senior courtyard would definitely make that happen. Don't worry though, I haven't got any plans of killing myself now. If I do die soon, it will be by the will of the universe.
I know that one of my habits hurts you, and makes you worry, but I promise that I'll never let it go too far.

On a different note, we're going to be in Orlando, Florida in just two days! I wonder if we'll see anyone we know down there? Maybe we'll run into John from the last cruise? Or maybe I'll get recognized for my myspace name again? x]]

I still haven't uploaded the pictures from last weekend because I'm scared of how much it's going to hurt when I see him with her again.
Damnit.
There's no point to this post. I'm just being all pathetic and such.
I wish I could stab someone and get away with it. I'm pretty sure that would make my day better. Or would it have to be a CERTAIN someone? >> << Hm...